My social life is better than it was yesterday. I have been "friends" with another local housewife for several years now. I think today we became friends (no quotes, ya'll). Why did it take so long? Because I've been known to be terrifying. Not in any violent way, but maybe I was an asshole for a very long time. I mean, not a real asshole. I didn't ACTUALLY hate people, I just couldn't be bothered to speak to them like we existed on the same level. I was also medicated (for epilepsy), but I don't want to blame everything on that. Anyway, now I'm not an asshole (all the time).
That's all to say, I like the housewife time I spent with this wonderful lady. We ate quiche and macaroni and cheese, went to some stores, and bitched, bitched, bitched. It was glorious. The housewife's dog has dandruff. I had no idea that was possible. Duh, but did you? Did you know some dogs get dry skin in the winter? The housewife illustrated by lifting the dog and exposing his pink, flaky belly. He seemed to know and he was embarrassed, I could tell.
I've received two acceptances in the past two days. Two wonderful publications want MY stories. Can you believe it? I still cannot. I keep expecting them to say, "Whoops, we meant the other guy." One of the publications is even going to interview me. It stretches credulity.
I'm reading Alissa Nutting's Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls. It's a golden egg in a novelty carton of decorative ceramic eggs. If you know what's good for you (and many of you have no idea), you will get this book. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll make fun of the cover because the font's not great. But the words, THE WORDS.
I'm going to celebrate my acceptances by watching a TV show I hate. I'm not going to tell you which show. Most of you like this show, I think. I hate it, but I will not miss an episode. The foundation of any good relationship is hate. This show hates me with its awful writing.
That's all to say, I like the housewife time I spent with this wonderful lady. We ate quiche and macaroni and cheese, went to some stores, and bitched, bitched, bitched. It was glorious. The housewife's dog has dandruff. I had no idea that was possible. Duh, but did you? Did you know some dogs get dry skin in the winter? The housewife illustrated by lifting the dog and exposing his pink, flaky belly. He seemed to know and he was embarrassed, I could tell.
I've received two acceptances in the past two days. Two wonderful publications want MY stories. Can you believe it? I still cannot. I keep expecting them to say, "Whoops, we meant the other guy." One of the publications is even going to interview me. It stretches credulity.
I'm reading Alissa Nutting's Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls. It's a golden egg in a novelty carton of decorative ceramic eggs. If you know what's good for you (and many of you have no idea), you will get this book. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll make fun of the cover because the font's not great. But the words, THE WORDS.
I'm going to celebrate my acceptances by watching a TV show I hate. I'm not going to tell you which show. Most of you like this show, I think. I hate it, but I will not miss an episode. The foundation of any good relationship is hate. This show hates me with its awful writing.