All of the sudden, I smell like cigarettes. How is that possible? I've not been smoking. I haven't smoked since this dream I had last night. Don't say it's impossible. You've had sex in dreams, at least, and woken up spent. I know, it's not really the same. It's EXACTLY the same.
Egypt is having a moment. Let's have a moment for Egypt. Let's not be cynical, let's be hopeful.
I have a weekend full of eating ahead of me. Tonight, barbecue. I will take the extra pickles. I will have equal amounts of pork and pickle on my buns. That was a joke. Feel free to throw tomatoes at me. I will eat them like apples. If you throw a pie, aim for my mouth. I'm partial to any fruit pie, any cream pie, and any seasonally too sweet pie (pecan, chess, derby).
I'm liking my haircut. I think you'll like it too, especially if you're fond of Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell from HOOK.
My father and my stepmother are in town. I hate to inform you that my stepmother is not evil. She's very nice. She wants to go shopping. Where do people go shopping in this town? We just had coffee/tea and they wanted to know what they should do next. I have no idea. We do not do the same things. I'm going to send them to Crate & Barrel. People like that sort of thing, right? Maybe they will buy me a coffee table. I've been using a storage tub.
One of my besties is doing some artwork for a story I wrote. It will be up on a website I'm so fond of. I'll let you know which website it is on March 7th. You'll have no idea what I'm talking about. They only publish the best, which makes me wonder how I ever got selected. Editors work in mysterious ways. I like to imagine they wear robes and use complex magic to shape their respective literary magazines into something special. It's the only way I can wrap my head around their apparent super powers.
Read a book this weekend.
I'm getting to the point where my arms are lean and muscular. My legs are on their way. They are always late to the party. My ass will arrive in its own sweet time. By summer, I might be able to take my shirt off when I mow the lawn. Might. I will drink a beer and say, "Ahhh."
Egypt is having a moment. Let's have a moment for Egypt. Let's not be cynical, let's be hopeful.
I have a weekend full of eating ahead of me. Tonight, barbecue. I will take the extra pickles. I will have equal amounts of pork and pickle on my buns. That was a joke. Feel free to throw tomatoes at me. I will eat them like apples. If you throw a pie, aim for my mouth. I'm partial to any fruit pie, any cream pie, and any seasonally too sweet pie (pecan, chess, derby).
I'm liking my haircut. I think you'll like it too, especially if you're fond of Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell from HOOK.
My father and my stepmother are in town. I hate to inform you that my stepmother is not evil. She's very nice. She wants to go shopping. Where do people go shopping in this town? We just had coffee/tea and they wanted to know what they should do next. I have no idea. We do not do the same things. I'm going to send them to Crate & Barrel. People like that sort of thing, right? Maybe they will buy me a coffee table. I've been using a storage tub.
One of my besties is doing some artwork for a story I wrote. It will be up on a website I'm so fond of. I'll let you know which website it is on March 7th. You'll have no idea what I'm talking about. They only publish the best, which makes me wonder how I ever got selected. Editors work in mysterious ways. I like to imagine they wear robes and use complex magic to shape their respective literary magazines into something special. It's the only way I can wrap my head around their apparent super powers.
Read a book this weekend.
I'm getting to the point where my arms are lean and muscular. My legs are on their way. They are always late to the party. My ass will arrive in its own sweet time. By summer, I might be able to take my shirt off when I mow the lawn. Might. I will drink a beer and say, "Ahhh."